Why do I write? To be totally honest, I prefer talking. Not to myself, but to someone else, of course. I haven’t totally gotten into the vlog, FB Live and Podcasting areas yet because I have a harder time talking to myself than you might think. Sure the occasional reprimand or congratulatory excitement might move me to look like a crazy person, but as a general rule when I speak I prefer to have a live audience whom I can interact with. That’s the kind of environment where my mind can run loose and spread from topic to topic seamlessly and without effort. I don’t have to think about and consider ideas because they’re instigated through the mutual efforts of a conversation.
Deep, intimate chats are by far my favorites! To be able to relate to another human being (or multiple people) is a gift. To be able to connect at a deep, soul level about real, intense and profound topics…that is my greatest joy in life!
In a world so full of things, people and places…where you can have or do anything you truly desire…I choose to collect and study people. It’s my favorite hobby! It’s really incredible to me to be able to observe someone in their natural habitat verses work, school or on holiday…and to find out what makes them tick. It’s absolutely fascinating to me to hear stories, personal experiences, cultural practices and opinions which differ from my own. It’s interesting to me to see all of the many ways we’re so unique and special, but at the same time the vast similarities and patterns between behaviors regardless of location, nationality, background, race or religion. We are of One human race…and although quite separate and distinctive from each other, there is also so much in common with us all.
When you talk with me, I get to see all of the parts that make you…YOU. I get to find out what makes you peculiar (in a beautiful way), colorful and entirely immeasurable to another. I have learned (through studying so many people) how to hear the subtle differences between what someone is TRYING to convince me to hear and what their subconscious mind is really saying. I hear the TRUE language they’re speaking. In a very short time I’ll learn things about you that you don’t intend for me to know, see or hear…not because I’ve manipulated them out of you, but because you’ve told me knowingly and unknowingly…because when we chat my heart and mind open up to you and allow you to be exactly who you are without pretense and welcomes you to open up and share your truths.
There’s a freedom that comes to us all when we feel the ability to truly be ourselves without fear of how what we say or believe might be taken by another. To be able to completely express yourself…and further more, to be understood…I believe this is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others. This is what happens when you connect with me.
However, there are two main issues that come out of this. 1) There’s only one of me…and so many people who I’d absolutely love to connect with, but logistically it just isn’t possible. 2) Something funny happens right after we’ve had a discussion (until we do it often enough that you’ve become accustomed to it): I call it, a vulnerability hangover. When we talk, you’ll bring up things you aren’t even sure why or how you opened up about. It’s not uncommon for me to hear, “I’ve never told anyone that,“ or “I didn’t even remember that until this moment.”
I believe that each of us has an inner voice that really WANTS to be heard but we’ve gotten so used to shutting it down that when someone gives us the invitation to communicate what we want to say, it feels unsafe, unpleasant and unnatural. Then our minds go into overdrive in the reverse…closure. Self-defense. Intimidation. When this happens, you’ll withdraw out of shame and embarrassment from what you may have shared or what I may have been able to deduce from your true nature without you mentioning anything about it. We try so hard to hide our Core selves in order to protect what’s most valuable to us, and yet without being able to share what is rightfully Us and who we are we’ll never feel true happiness and satisfaction in life.
We’re each searching for the things which fulfill us most, which may differ drastically…but the commonality between us (even when there appears to be only one) is our need for connection and love…as our most true selves. Since we fight this possibility in order to protect our valuable Core, but need it in order to feel self-realization and contentment in life…we wage war against our very natures and keep ourselves from attaining this most desired level of joy.
This is why I write. I don’t do it to be heard or seen, but to share. I do it because when I allow myself to express what I’ve found to be true, and do it in full truth, it touches at a Core level within others who wish to do the same. I attempt to set a new tradition amongst the people of this earth, to share the deepest parts of themselves and each other rather than hide in shame. The REAL you is the most miraculous gift you can give this great world of ours! I’ll see the REAL you…and I know you’ll be absolutely stunning in your own personal and completely unique ways!